Well, The Fantastic Four: First Steps movie is out, and it’s the most comic-accurate yet. Reed Richards is scribbling on chalkboards, tackling cosmic problems like it’s Oppenheimer with spandex. Sue’s stubborn, Ben’s mopey, Johnny’s a hothead. Honestly it’s pretty much straight out of the comics. But it’s a lot of talking heads and some folks (like Keith’s wife) dozed off. Galactus is massive and rocks the Kirby helmet, and they skip the origin story.
Skipping the origin story is kind of our favorite thing in superhero movies these days.
Ironheart reveals that Sacha Baron Cohen is the MCU Mephisto. Feels like they’re testing the waters of introducing Marvel Hell.
Scott pitches a few casting choices for Mr. Sinister: Tom Ellis (Lucifer) or Robert Sheehan (Umbrella Academy) as the fabulous mutant. Both would kill it.
On a heavier note (GET IT?), Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan are dead.
Since we are jaded assholes we end up ranking them out of 10 on scumbag scale. Ozzy, allegedly shot 17 pets in a drug-fueled haze. That ain’t great. But he’s a rock star so maybe a 4/10 on the scumbag scale.
Hogan, though? Terry Bollea’s a pretty big scumbag. He and Vince McMahon built modern wrestling. But his union-busting, steroid cover-ups, and MAGA-adjacent nonsense peg him at a 7/10 scumbag. Hulk Hogan was a living superhero, Terry Bollea pretty much sucked.
Meanwhile on a brand new episode of Garbage Time! Scott once again has whipped up a quiz for Jon and Keith and this time it’s “Sports Movies”. The rules are simple, Scott gives us the name of a fictional sports team and if we can’t guess the movie he will then tell us the star player of the team. Jon and Keith are not big sports guys but you may be surprised by some of the right answers they manage to land on (and infuriated at some of the ones they miss).
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Credit Where Credit is Due
Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).
