A little while ago I started (and subsequently abandoned) the mission of revisiting a lot of the geek milestones that Ernie Cline touched on in his (amazing) ode to 80s geekdom “Ready Player One”. Cline’s story was almost directly responsible for one of the most talked about (in my friend circle) occurrences of 2013: that time we played the original Tomb of Horrors like idiots. The whole experience got me to thinking that I wanted to write a regular column about stuff that I had experienced. Sort of like a 1960s Playboy columnist but writing about geek shit. Or regular shit. Ok, I just want to have a column where I tell you about things you should be doing and consuming, or about current events.
I regretted almost immediately my decision to call this stuff “The Perspicacious Geek” for a number of reasons.
1) I have only had to write the word “perspicacious” twice (thrice if you count this sentence) and I have mangled it all three times. I like to challenge myself physically when it comes to typing.
2) It is super pretentious sounding; this is a double edged sword. I like sounding pretentious since I think there’s a certain contingent of the internet who will be like “what a pretentious cocksucker, I will read this article to see how wrong and stupid he is”. And let’s face it, readers are readers, gotta get ‘dem clicks, holla! However, in the world where I pretend to be humble (whatever world that is, I don’t think “humble” would be on anyone’s list of adjectives that describe me) I am in no way extremely perspicacious (nailed the spelling first time). Sometimes people have to explain things to me like a hundred times and when I “get it” I’m still just nodding along blindly hoping the conversation moves on to something else.
3) In reality, I’m really into terrible movies and watch a lot of pro-wrestling, this is pretty much the opposite of perspicacious.
4) If I didn’t know the definition of the word, I would think that it is somehow related to perspiration. So if you’re bad with English you might think this article is about a sweaty geek. Which is like, the exact opposite of the intention. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
↓ Read the rest of this entry…
