9to5 (dot cc)

There’s not going to be a video game component to this post. Reason being? Well, Skyrim is still the undisputed heavyweight champion of stuff trending in video games right now (I’m not even kidding how ridiculous this is, it’s seriously a more popular search term in the top searches in “Games” than the word “game”) and I haven’t played it. Legend of Zelda is also trending, but I’m assuming they’re referring to Skyward Sword and not some other LoZ though, and I also haven’t played it. I might just be leaving my job soon though, and both of things just might find their way into my life. If that happens, I will likely be unemployed forever. You’ll benefit in the end though, since I’ll have nothing to do but update this site and play video games. Just like Jon. Wait. He doesn’t update the site at all does he? Fuck. I guess it’ll just be Scott and Sophie then.

In the meantime, away we go with WTF World 22, the longest running segment of 9to5.cc, if only because I cheated!

After the break I talk about a Norwegian crazy person and Wayne Gretzky’s daughter who might be a vapid whore. Read on true believer.

Ok, so this guy, this guy let me tell you about him (or you can get a better more objective take on the story from a real news source). So this guy, Anders Behring Breivik, was responsible for the death of 77 people this past July and (shocker) was declared insane yesterday. So, he avoids a prison sentence and instead gets locked up in a maximum security treatment facility for the insane. I don’t want to make light of this situation, but isn’t that like Arkham Asylum?  This guy is clearly a supervillain.  Let’s not forget, Breivik started planning the attacks 9 years ago and through various business and financial maneuverings managed to raise 2 million kroner ($370,000) to finance the attacks. He legally purchased a massive arsenal, then used his company “Breivik Geofarm” to obtain chemicals to manufacture explosives.  He then bombed government buildings in Oslo, killing 8 and then personally showed up to the Labour Party youth camp and opened fire, killing 69 people. 69 fucking people in a shooting spree. I’m not looking it up, but to my knowledge that has to be some sort of record.  I watched this thing once profiling these people who open fire on people in public, and it talked about the adrenaline that sets in and even the most “prepared” people don’t process it correctly and lose all sorts of accuracy and perspective. It’s why you hear so often about the hundreds of bullets fired and then only a few deaths and some wounded.

Not this psycho.  Anyhow, he was declared completely insane yesterday and now will undergo treatment likely for the rest of his life. There’s something unsettling there. Back to the Arkham Asylum thing. I don’t care if it is a maximum security crazy ward. People break out of Arkham Asylum all the goddamned time. This guy, with his 1500 page manifesto and anti-Muslim agenda shows no remorse (do you have any regrets Mr. Breivik? “Oh yes, I wish I hadn’t gotten a nose job.” Wait, what?) will almost absolutely kill again if he ever gets loose. Why do we have real world supervillains and not real world superheroes? Oh wait. We do, they’re named Phoenix Jones and we arrest them too. I don’t even know what point I’m trying to make anymore.

Let’s talk about Wayne Gretzky’s daughter!

So, Paulina Gretzky is “The Great One’s” daughter. She wants to be a model, isn’t that adorable? She also clearly has access to the retro vintage photo effects on pixlr. So she posts pictures of her and her slutty friends making that same stupid duck face that every dumb girl in the world thinks is sexy but totally isn’t. What does The Great One do? He shuts it the fuck down. Like a boss.  She tweeted:

Having a nice sit down dinner with my dad about social media..haha

Next day?

Taking a break from Twitter for a bit. Happy Holidays!!! xoxo.

That`s right Wayne Gretzky. Parenting. I get it, you`re rich, so your daughter is obviously going to become a singer/model, but she doesn`t have to be a slut. You keep that girl in line.

Her and her stupid duck face.

Stupid duck face.

Anders image stolen from Huffington Post who seems to have stolen it from Getty Images.
Patricia Gretzky images stolen from somewhere, but originally posted on her now defunct twitter account.