These are the tits you get to see.
If you’ve come here wondering whether or not you should sit down and give Mr. Zombie’s latest foray into horror a chance I’ll save you some time and let you know right off the bat that no, you should not. Not because it’s too edgy or horrific or what have you, but because it was fucking awful. As a group, we’ve watched (and loved) a lot of terrible movies. It takes a special kind of movie to make me actively tell people to avoid it at all costs. Especially when that movie contains a bunch of cool visual elements, a so-so story and is helmed by a director with a pretty decent horror pedigree. If you’re expecting anything remotely resembling House of 1000 Corpses, The Devils Rejects or the two Halloween remakes you will be sorely, sorely disappointed.
If you’re expecting to see Sheri Moon Zombie’s tits you will also be sorely, sorely disappointed. Oh this movie has tits, a LOT of them in fact. They’re just not the kind you want to be seeing. Unless you’re into either incredibly old and/or fat lady tits. Then this movie is basically your new spank bank. Here are some of the tits you’ll get to enjoy ->
This screenshot is from the first 5 minutes of the movie and at this point I was like “Ok Rob, you’d better have some sort of pay off for making me see that.” Spoiler alert: he does not. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…
