9to5 (dot cc)

In case you’ve been ignoring the site, you may not have noticed that we just finished up our sixth (!) Montreal Fringe related podcast over on Go Plug Yourself.

However, despite my best intentions I have not seen NEARLY as many shows as I would like. Maybe you’re like me you are WAY behind in the amount of shows you intended on seeing and if so, I would like to recommend a totally feasible itnerary for a jam packed Fringe weekend, starting tonight (Friday). Yes, you won’t see everything, but you’ll have a chance to see some of the best shows if you just stick to my marathon style schedule:

Assuming you’re working a 9to5 (he said it!) I’ll start you off tonight at 6:00

Friday:
6:00 pm
Conquer Your Mountains
You want to kick this whole thing off with the right amount of motivation, right? Then you should check out motivational comedian Michael Lifshitz. What makes him so motivational? Lifshitz has Multiple Congenital Musculoskeletal Abnormalities, what does that mean? Well, he gets better parking spots than you and I. That’s his joke by the way.

7:30 pm
The All-Star Improv Jam
Montreal Improv opens their arms to a whole host of other Fringe performers so I honestly have no idea what you’re in store for. It’ll be fucking funny though, count on that mother fucker.

At this point you will no doubt need beer and maybe snacks. Here’s what you do, you go to the beer tent and you get both.

9:00 pm
It only makes it better that at 9:00 pm Montreal art-rockers Teen Sleuth will be kicking it up a notch for your listening pleasure. This is totally free too (to make room for more beer money). Fair warning though, the beer tent has to shut down around 10:30, which means you’ll have time to head over to…

10:45 pm
Tinfoil Dinosaur
If you’re not convinced to check this show out, go listen to the podcast and let Sam tell you why you should be checking this show out himself. Do it now. Or, if you go and you like Sam’s stylings, then listen later. We’re cool either way.

If you’re still up at around 1:00 am, you should probably be at the 13th Hour. I’m not even gonna tell you how cool it’s gonna be since I want to save it for myself. It’ll be awesome though, trust me.

So you’ll be heading home drunk and happy, good news though, you have 2 more days to catch more shows!

Saturday:
Piknik au Fringe
First of all, starting at 1:00 pm and ending at 7:00 pm, Piknik Electronik will be taking over the Fringe park for some sweet sweet electronic tunes. So if you’re wondering what to do, Fringe has you covered. Also, cheap as free.

2:30 pm
Pitching Knife Fight
9to5 (dot cc)’s own Walter J. Lyng will fuck you in the face with a knife until one or both of you have an orgasm. That will happen.

3:45 pm
The Vindictive Vice President
At the 13th Hour the Vindictive Vice President crew had the entire audience shouting synonyms for “penis”. This has nothing to do with the show, but if you think that sounds hilarious (because it is) you will probably like this show.

6:00 pm
Viscious Circles
Nominated for 3 Frankie Awards (if you don’t know what that is, ask someone at the beer tent), the theatrical take on Sid n’ Nancy might have some questionable British accents but promises Sex, Drugs and Punk rock murder.

8:30 pm
The Ukrainian Dentist’s Daughter
We had Yana Kesala on the podcast as well. She’ll tell you why to see this show herself. After a show about heroin it’s time to warm your heart with the touching story of a woman waiting two hours at the altar for her husband.

11:00 pm
Tough!
If you haven’t seen Kirsten Rasmussen perform in the city yet, you have officially run out of excuses. Her one woman show about a lounge singer turned would-be boxer is fucking amazing. Funny when it should be, touching when it should be, with original songs that don’t suck (sometimes a rarity at Fringe). Pretty much a must-see.

Again, 13th Hour. If you’re up for it, you’re a machine.

Sunday:
2:45 pm
My Dad’s Deaths
We did a podcast with this guy too! This show is absolutely amazing, and I swear to God that stories about a man nearly dying again and again is actually funny. Maybe the Australian accent is what does it? Nah, probably the fact that Jon Bennett has great comedic timing and storytelling abilities. Probably that part.

4:30 pm
Let’s Start a Country
Gerard Harris and Asaf Gerchak (one part London, one part Montreal) mix up equal measures of improv, scripted comedy and Asaf’s amazing abilities with construction paper and coloured markers to form a country right before your eyes. It works out about as well as you’d expect (the country). The comedy on the other hand holds up all the way through.

7:15 pm
The No Bull$#!% History of Canada
Kyle was also on the podcast (not that I’m biased), but I feel like ending off the fest with something educational would be a nice way to feel good about yourself at the end of a drunken weekend of Fringing your ass off. There’s a beaver and you’ll learn something, I really shouldn’t need to sell this anymore.

So there it is, if you’re up for it, a crash course to see some of the best the fest has to offer, all in one weekend!