Halloween movie watch: Hack O’Lantern (1988)
I’m usually not a fan of ”so bad it’s good” movies, but, wow…This was unexpected.
A total blind watch as I was settling in to eat my Halloween night pizza and brownies, this had me thoroughly entertained from beginning to end; mostly for the wrong reasons (i.e. it can’t under any kind of proper definition be qualified as ”good”), but without hesitation or shame.
Where was this movie during my formative years during the 80’s as I tried to watch every horror film in the video store?
Even for the late 80’s it already seems like it’s over-exagerating all the 80’s cliches, especially in the hair and wardrobe department. Most notable are: the lead protagonist/antagonist Tommy, who, in one glorious scene, is doing dumbbell curls shirtless in his basement WHILE WEARING A FUCKING BANDANA RAMBO-STYLE (I cheered-laughed to myself). And his…lady friend who appears in two scenes showing off an amazing, spiky pixie-type blonde punk haircut. And her naked body. Twice.
The acting is uniformly bad but in a logical(?) way, partly due to the dialogue. There is one incredible moment during Tommy’s first scene (as an adult) where he literally turns his head RIGHT AT THE CAMERA and leers menacingly in the most exagerated, over-the-top way that rivals the ”garbage day” moment in Silent Night, Deadly Night part 2 as far as iconically bad acting deliveries go. Except this one has no dialogue. I marveled.
Extra special acting mention goes to the *main* baddie, Tommy’s head-of-a-satanic-cult grandad, who appears to have been overdubbed in all his scenes. Amazing.
There is at least one very well-done kill (this is a slasher, BTW), but the FX are uneven with some of the blood splatter looking *exactly* like ketchup (complete with the orange-y color) while other moments being quite decent.
There is satan worship, a random dream sequence/music video, a surprising amount of gloriously-gratuitous nudity, scenes and characters that come and go with no rhyme or reason, butt branding, illogical reactions, plot holes, and it’s never boring.
I’m surprised this isn’t considered more of a cult classic of some kind. As I mentioned, I don’t enjoy bad movies, but sometimes one will hit all the right notes and deliver something special on a visceral level.
