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This wasn’t originally going to be a two parter, but then I realized this was getting pretty long and I was only half way through. This thing has 23 tracks, so I’ll do 11 here today and 12 next week.

So we moved the TV room around a little (to make room for a beer fridge!) and it exposed the lower shelf of a bookcase that had a pretty big stack of old CDs on it. I thought it might be fun to see what the ole’ CD collection had in store for me and looked for a CD to bring with us to listen to in the car while we ran some errands.

Then I saw it. I saw an old mix CD. Not just any mix CD. A mix CD that I seemed to care about enough that I made jewel case art. Don’t be fooled by the fact that it says “antisocial,” that’s not what I named the mix. In fact, that was a reference to my extremely old website “antisocialites”. So old that I can’t seem to find it on the internet anymore. No, this mix was called “The Quick Brown Fox Jumped Over the Lazy Dog. Yes, the fact that it’s “jumped” and not “jumps” was intentional (thereby meaning that the sentence doesn’t actually contain all 26 letters of the alphabet and is missing the “s”). I thought I was fucking hilarious. I was right. That is hilarious.

That symbol/face thing? That was something I called “The Squidgy”. Not sure why. I did use to draw and paint it on things though from time to time. I was a real badass.

Most of these songs have the telltale little blips and skips of a badly ripped song. Most of these songs came from LimeWire. Remember LimeWire guys? Only 90s kids will remember LimeWire. LimeWire was what we all turned to when it started to be hard to find the tracks you wanted on Napster. I remember trying to somehow convince my parents that this wasn’t illegal at one point. Something about it being “just like the radio”. Oh parents.

I was trying to put an exact date on when I made this CD since my use of The Squidgy, the term “antisocial” and the incorrect use of “the quick brown fox” was stuff that I was into from about ages 14 to 19. Fortunately, Track 1 was there to solve this mystery for me. The memories came flooding back. Here we go with a track by track listing of this terrible mix. Whenever possible I link to the music video.

Track 1: Hash Pipe – Weezer

The “Green Album” came out on May 15, 2001. Which means this mix had to be made around the same time (it’s the most recent song on the mix). In fact, probably a little before it came out, since this was the first single and if I recall correctly, I was into this song before the album came out. I also bought the album when it came out and I generally only put music onto a mix if I didn’t own it. This means that I was 17, about a month away from being 18. Go ahead and judge my music tastes when I was 17. I’m honestly a little shocked that this album isn’t total shit. Poor music choices were very low on the list of poor choices I was making around that age.

It is not a great song. I know that now. However, when it came out I was extremely excited that Weezer was making music again. The Blue Album and Pinkerton were staples of my youth and it had been 4 years since they had brought out an album and at 17 that felt like an eternity. So I sort of tricked myself into liking it. The video has sumo wrestlers in it.

Track 2: “Istanbul (Not Constantinople)” – They Might Be Giants

This song was a pretty big staple of geek music. They Might Be Giants in general was one of the first bands that I think was more or less universally loved by the geek community. The fact that this song was already 11 years old at this point blows my mind (especially since that means it’s now like a quarter of a century old). I also somehow remember this song being really big with the improv crowd. Weird. Great song though. I can’t be too mad about it being on the mix. I mean, it’s not that great, but it was already aged when I put it on the mix, so I’m not mad at myself for putting it in there. Here’s the song with a Tiny Toons cartoon.

Track 3: “Keep Them Separated” – The Offspring

Yes, I am fully aware that this song is called “Come Out and Play” but remember, this is the era of mislabeled file sharing. So it was downloaded as “Keep Them Separated”. One of the things that jumps out from this mix is that this is the first of several Offspring songs. You must be thinking “wow, Keith really liked The Offspring.” You wouldn’t be completely wrong. Like I said, I actually bought a lot of music as a teenager and would tend to make mixes of music that I didn’t own. So yes, I liked the Offspring, but not apparently enough to have ever purchased any of their CDs. Everyone knows this song, it still gets played on the radio. It’s hard to remember if it was good since it so incredibly played out at this point. Maybe when it was only 5 or 6 years old it was still cool?I kind of like the surfer vibe riff. The video is amazingly representative of 1994 “punk”.

Track 4: “I’m Afraid of Americans” – Nine Inch Nails

Another victim of file share naming. There is no mention in the file name that this is a David Bowie song. Yes, NIN had their part in this version, but also it is not expressly a NIN song. This is another one that I don’t feel badly about listening to. I remember my brother owned the Earthling album and I liked the track then. So why not put it on a CD 4 years later? Sounds good to me Keith! Great video too. You run sweat turtleneck Bowie! You run from Reznor!

Track 5: “Faith” – Limp Bizkit

Oh lord. This one smacks of shame. If there was one band that captured just about everything that was terrible about music in the late 90s to early 2000s it’s Limp Bizkit. Once again, much like the Offspring, I never actually enjoyed them enough to go out and buy an album, however I did really like a couple of tracks. Which is terrible. Fred Durst’s voice is fucking terrible and this is a pretty shitty cover. Give me George Michael over this any day. However, the nostalgia flows strongly through this song and I can’t help but enjoy it when I hear it. Go ahead, give it a try. Tell me that doesn’t make you smile (assuming you were a teenager when it came out). I also still love Wes Borland. You may judge me.

Yeah that is right, I even drew ON THE CD.

Track 6: “Self Esteem” – Offspring

Our second track by The Offspring. This one also doesn’t age very well. Dexter’s “waaahhoooooohhhh wwahhooohhh ohohhhhhh” does not do much for anybody’s case that this is a good song. I remember being really into this track in high school. I had only had one girlfriend in high school and she was my girlfriend right through to the beginning of college. She never cheated on me and was the opposite of the girl in the song. So I had no real frame of reference whatsoever for what this song was about. However, I remember being like “yeah man, girls.. they’re the worst”. Stupid high school Keith. This video is nearly the same as Come Out and Play. I miss dreadlock Dexter Holland and long hair Noodles.

Track 7: “Renegade Master” – Fatboy Slim

Oh that’s right, I was also into partying all night at raves (see: poor life choices). My brother was really into Fatboy Slim (and UK party music in general) despite never going to a rave in his life. Or maybe he did? I certainly kept this part of my life a secret, maybe he kept it hidden too? Who knows? This is still an early sign of my eclectic musical tastes and certainly one of the early “electronic” acts that I was into that would evolve into me eventually liking actually good electronic music. Fatboy Slim has his moments. This is not really one of those moments objectively. Subjectively on the other hand this song was my fucking jam, son. Also, not actually by Fatboy Slim. It’s actually a song by some group or guy called “Wildchild” and it’s just the Fatboy Slim remix that everyone knows. It’s like A-D-D in sonic format.

Track 8: “Baby, Baby” – Um Jammer Lammy

Wow. What the fuck teenage Keith? I really like Parappa the Rapper and its lesser known, sort-of-sequel Um Jammer Lammy. Um Jammer Lammy is like Parappa but instead of rapping you play guitar. There was this level where there was a caterpillar giving birth to like a million babies or something and you had to play this song to get them to sleep. Just watch this video (I set it to when the song actually starts, but if you can stomach it, I recommend going back and watching the whole set up). I can’t even begin to tell you why I thought this was a good song. Of all the songs on this garbage this is the only one where Sarah stepped in and was like “nope” and skipped to the next track. Turns out it was for the best.

Track 9: “Danger Zone” – Top Gun Soundtrack

The track had no mention that this song was by Kenny Loggins. Nor did I (at the time) know who Kenny Loggins was. Of course, a little while later I would discover Yacht Rock on Channel 101 and this song would become even more badass. Then Archer would bring it back. Man, this is the song that keeps on giving. No regrets on this one. Just enjoy the video and buzz the tower. I remember my dad owning this soundtrack on vinyl I think. This was one of the first songs that almost instantly made me do karate chops and kicks. Still does.

Track 10: “Parappa The Rappa Remix” – Sean Kosa

Ok, this one is a total product of the time and LimeWire itself. This song has nearly nothing to do with any identifiable Parappa the Rapper song and I can assure you the only reason it ended up on my computer at the time was that with LimeWare you had to download tracks individually and if you were trying to download tracks from games it was the Wild West. Anyhow, I actually really dig this song to this day. However, I cannot find it for you. Sean Kosa is still making music though, here’s his Soundcloud. Maybe I’ll get in touch with him.

Track 11: “Bad Reputation” – Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

This track is on here for two reasons. I really enjoyed Freaks and Geeks when it came out and this was the theme song. Also, I was pretty into punk and was using the internet to try and find some tracks of some of what I perceived as “old punk”. So two birds with one stone. Joan Jett may have also played a part in my still present love of black eyeliner. I’m not going to lie, Joan Jett was on my time-travel celebrity crush list. Actually, just looked up a more recent picture of her and she’s still on my celebrity crush list.

So that’s it for Part 1 of this thing. 12 more tracks to go and man, some of them are pretty awful. the main thing that I am not that ashamed of is the variety of music I was listening to back when I was 17. Sure it wasn’t all particularly good but man was it varied. I guess that played a part in me listening to all sorts of music and genres as I got older and my tastes improved. I’m not going to lie, the first half of this CD is the better half. Part 2 is a slippery slope of very bad music.

See that? That was 2013. She’s still got it. – © Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com

Keith does all sorts of things here on 9to5.cc, he works with the other founders on 9to5 (illustrated), co-hosts our two podcasts: The 9to5 Entertainment System and Go Plug Yourself and blogs here as The Perspicacious Geek.