underoosI was going to start this article by assuming that everyone knew what Underoos were, however, when I was talking to people in my entourage it seemed that their existence was not common knowledge. Somehow, I always knew what these things were, despite never owning them personally. I am pretty sure I wanted to own a pair though. I mean, it crossed superheros and Star Wars with the mighty power of underwear. Assuming childhood me had anything in common with grown up me, I definitely wanted these things under my regular clothes.

So, what are Underoos? Well, pretty simply they are a pair of underwear/panties with a little matching undershirt. What makes them special though is that they are themed to comic book and cartoon stars (and also Star Wars).

I’m pretty sure that the general idea here was to make kids feel like awesome superheros or whatever in their day-to-day lives, probably giving a secret confidence boost to a whole generation of nerdy kids. Real superheros wore their costumes under their normal clothes, right? You were no different. You could even be a private school kid wearing a school uniform, but underneath, you were the Goddamn Batman.

One of the things that gets me about the whole concept is in the slogan: “Underwear that’s Fun to Wear!” Does it strike anyone else as a little off that they were marketing “fun” underwear to children? If you make your child underwear too fun, aren’t you sort of encouraging children to show off their fun underwear? “Hey, look at me! I’m Wonder Woman!” You fucking put your clothes back on little girl! Maybe the 70s were a simpler time, a time where you could encourage children to wear fancy fun underwear and not expect them to just dance around and make everyone feel uncomfortable. Or, as evidenced by the commercials I’m about to share with you, maybe not. Maybe the late 70s and early 80s were just super fucking creepy and actively encouraged choreographed go-go dance routines for both boys and girls. ↓ Read the rest of this entry…