Celebrities just can’t stay married. Most of the time, kids can keep hamsters around for longer than a celebrity marriage. That even applies to hipsters celebrities. Doesn’t matter if you’re the lead singer of Death Cab and the star of (500) Days of Summer and singer of another “popular” indie band She & Him. You know that song they had? The cover of that song by The Smiths? Oh yeah. When your biggest song is a cover song, you know you’ve made it. Am I right Alien Ant Farm? Eh? Eh?

So yeah, Ben Gibbard and Zooey Deschanel have split up. Close friends say that it may have to do with the fact that she always looks like a deer in the headlights and his head is apparently enormous.  Supposedly there’s no third party and the breakup is amicable. Sure, that’s what they say now. Wait for the new Death Cab album “Songs for Zooey” to reveal that Gibbard’s heart is crushed. I don’t know if you listen to much Death Cab, but I certainly have the impression that it doesn’t take much for this guy’s heart to be crushed. Like, out of coffee? Heart crushed. Missed the bus? Heart crushed. My theory? Zooey Deschanel has been pretending to be Katy Perry and sleeping with Russell Brand. (Insert cocky oversexed Russell Brand quote here).

Anyhow they lasted 2 years. Which may as well be a goddamned world record compared to some people. Some people like Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

They lasted 72 days.

A little over 2 months and her 20 million dollar marriage is over (that’s the cost of the ceremony by the way, not counting the goddamned ring). ↓ Read the rest of this entry…

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