Best-of-MTL-2015As you may know, one of our little podcats (Go Plug Yourself) was voted the #3 Podcast in Montreal this year. Walter is pretty adamant about getting number 1 and is threatening to shut the whole thing down if we don’t succeed. We’re not 100% sure what he’s talking about, but the threat seems pretty legitimate. Maybe he’s talking about shutting down the podcast, or maybe the website, or maybe the entire internet? Who knows? Either way, in order for any of your votes to matter you need to vote in at least 25 categories. So, in the name of complete and total self-interest (and the interest of people who I’m personally interested in seeing succeed) I give you my 25 choices for what you should vote on in this year’s Cult Montreal Best of Montreal.

Self-serving silliness go!

Go here and make the following votes because you love me.

1) Best Sports Personality – Plastik Patrik

I know that Patrik will likely easily make the list of Best Drag Queens, but are you aware that Patrik announces for Montreal Roller Derby and now coaches Montreal’s WFTDA (Women’s Flat Track Derby Association) team The New Skids on the Block? Yeah, vote here instead of a millionaire hockey player.

2) Best Website –

I should not need to explain this.

3) Best Twitter – 9to5cc

Yeah, we won’t win but hey, maybe an honourable mention?

4) Best Podcast –  Go Plug Yourself / 9to5 Entertainment System

Or maybe just enter “ Podcasts”? I dunno. Pick one or both. I am unclear on the rules for voting. Either way, we work our butts off to have one of these two shows ready for you every Thursday and we’re still going strong.

5) Best Bartender – Ram (Grumpy’s)

If only because it will be fun to bother him about it while he pretends not to care that he’s on the list.

6) Best Bar – Grumpy’s

Not only do they routinely let us record podcasts there, as a crew Grumpy’s has been our watering hole for like two decades or something. If Grumps makes the list it will still not serve bomb drinks of any kind.

7) Best Sleazy Dive – Grumpy’s

See above.

8) Best Underground Venue – TurboHaus

Yes, the TurboHaus no longer exists and sadly closed its doors about a week ago, but this list is for 2015 and in 2015 TurboHaus tore open more assholes than any other “underground” venue. Give this place the send off it deserves.

9) Best Live Music Venue – TurboHaus

Same as above.

10) Best Drag Queen/King – Plastik Patrik

Patrik isn’t exactly a drag queen, but this category should still have Patrik as the winner.

11) Best Comedy Club – ComedyWorks

The next few categories are recommended under duress.

12) Best Comedian – Walter J. Lyng

He’s so scary you guys.

13) Best Stand-up Comedy Night – Weekends shows at ComedyWorks.

I am not even sure this makes sense.

14) Best Band – The BCASA

The boys of BCASA put out a super sweet Christmas release and they are the Greatest Band in the Universe.

15) Best Solo Act – Leighland Beckman

The super filthy solo act of Leighland is probably not safe to be listened to anywhere, but fuck it, it’s hilarious.

16) Freakiest Local Act – The BCASA

If you like to see some skinny dudes without their shirts speak like the SIMs, spit at each other and have people on stage having sword fights have I got the band for you.

17) Best Dance Company/Choreographer – Amy Blackmore

Amy’s love of dance and keeping the dance scene alive in MOntreal should totally be reflected here. So it will be.

18) Best Play – The Quitter

9to5 contributor Al Lafrance’s one man show The Quitter may have ruined his chances at finding a job (because when you Google his name you now get “The Quitter” as a top result) but it was a pretty fun little biography of a bearded guy who loves mini-putt.

19) Best Cartoonist/Comic Artist – Sophie from 9to5!

Sophie draws a comic with me in it and this should be rewarded.

20) Best Video Game Company – Ubisoft

Inexplicably Ubisoft seems to have a soft spot for us, so hey, vote for them.

21) Best Barber – Simon from Frank and Oak

Ok, we’re getting a little thin here, vote for my barber?

22) Best Tattoo Parlour – Studio Art Tease / DFA Tattoos

I’ve got two tattoos and they come from these two shops, pick your favorite and vote for one of them.

23) Best Breakfast/Brunch – Ludger

I don’t really have a horse in this race but Ludger makes some of the best breakfast drinks in the city, and any establishment that makes alcohol ok for breakfast is on my list.

24) Best Coffee – Tunnel Espresso Bar

I get coffee here nearly every day, it’s delicious. It is not just because I know the owner. It is also because it is near my work!

25) Best Off-Chain Coffee – Tunnel Espresso Bar

Are there so many people voting for Second Cup and Starbucks that they need to introduce a second category so that real coffee places can be recognized?

People are the worst.

Anyhow, this is the list of people that I’m voting for. If you have no preferences you should just go through the list and copy my votes and everyone will be a winner. By everyone I mean me and my friends.

Something I missed? I am fully aware there’s likely some oversights here, and I wish I could vote a million times for a million different people in lots of these categories. Hit us up on Twitter or Facebook and let us know who you want to win in each category (as long as it’s us).

Later taters, remember to vote.