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We’re back everyone with another installment of me showing off the cool stuff that I pay for every month from Loot Crate. Hey, real question, when does Loot Crate start sending me free crates? Oh, hang on, sometimes I rip on the stuff that’s inside. They probably wouldn’t like that very much.

Sarah’s taking the photos this month, so no cute girl pics. So long precious internet hits.

This month’s theme was “CYBER” which I thought was a little weird as a theme, but hey, I think they pretty much pulled it off. I will admit that I was very sad there wasn’t some kind of a reference to “A/S/L” in the crate. Would’ve been hilarious. Trust me, comedy gold. On the upside though, there wasn’t a single item related to CSI: Cyber, which was a big plus.

Let’s take a look at what we’ve got this month, shall we?

Terminator Brain Chip Thingie
I guess this is like a prop or something? But like, as a keychain? I’m relatively sure (although I haven’t actually seen Genisys yet) that a Terminator’s robot chip is not usually kept on a keychain. “Oh hey, what’s that?” “Oh this? I can just slot it into a robot and make it a badass killing machine.” Hang on, I think they used one of these in Salvation, but that movie might not be in continuity anymore. Anyways, this is actually kind of cool and it’s made of sturdy metal. I love me some sturdy metal.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥

Plastic Glow-in-the-Dark Pencil Case
See the look on that face? That’s the look of a grown man who just got a pencil case. It is made of cheap vinyl and it’s bright blue. What more can I say? Not only that, but it’s for the June Loot Crate. Guess what? There’s no school until September! This isn’t even a good time to give this to children. The only reason this isn’t the first ever negative heart rating is because it glows in the dark, which is worth a single heart.
Happiness: ♥

Nerd HQ Stickers
Oh boy, stickers for a thing that happens in a week on the other side of the continent? I mean, I guess I like stickers. But really, this is almost like paying for someone to advertise to you. Which, I mean, is sort of the point of Loot Crate so shame on me I suppose.
Happiness: ♥

Borderlands Mousepad
I really should have put a mouse down on this badboy so that you would have an idea of how big it is. This thing is nearly twice as large as any other mousepad I’ve ever had. Maybe it’s for gaming? I dunno. I also love me some Borderlands and Zer0 is a pretty sweet cyber-dude. Oh, I get it. Cyber. Hang on, what the hell does Nerd HQ have to do with Cyber? Get out of here stickers. Cool mousepad though.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥

Magazine and Pin
This magazine has an interview with the Nerd HQ guy! This has nothing to do with Cyber theme at all. WHAT IS HAPPENING? Seems like we will get a negative hear rating after all.
Happiness: -♥

Tyrell Corporation Patch
The fact that I did not immediately get this reference made me very sad. Maybe that’s why I’m in a bad mood as I write this. A geek reference made in my geek box that I did not immediately understand lowered my cred you guys. The symbol of the Tyrell Corporation (from Bladerunner) is nice and subtle. It’s a nice small patch that I think I will add to my next messenger bag (my current one is getting a little ratty, so why waste the patch on something I’m going to be replacing in a few months). Well played Loot Crate… well played.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Battlestar Galactica Cylon Range Sheets
I thought these were cool as I pulled them out of the envelope. I mean, I liked BSG and the packaging and presentation of these was pretty cool. Then I realized that functionally, unless I suddenly own a gun, these are just black and white posters of a Cylon. Even if I do go out and buy a gun, I would just end up shooting holes in my Loot. Finally, wasn’t paper a scarce resource on Galactica? These don’t make sense in the universe. Still cool. I stand by my initial excitement a little.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥Terminator Endo Skull
Ok, so there’s clearly a big push behind Terminator: Genisys in this month’s crate, and I mean, that’s fine. Especially since both items are more like props and this is the iconic skull that is a part of every piece of the franchise and not just the new movie. The release of Genisys and inclusion of this Terminator gear might just be the main reason the theme is CYBER in the first place. Well, whatever, I’m a consumer whore and this little skull is kick ass. I am going to recite Hamlet while I play the Terminator theme song now. Dun-dun-da-dun-dun! Dun-dun-da-dun-dun!
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥Optimus Prime Shirt
Well, now I own a new Transformers shirt. That can’t be a bad thing. Good job by the folks over at Loot Crate for knowing full well that their clients would probably not want anything from the Michael Bay atrocities and going with a classic ‘Prime for their shirt. I think this at least my third Transformers shirt that I have owned in my lifetime. One thing I find a little weird? Due to the positioning of Optimus’ laser blaster, his hand and the laser beam come up right between my moobs. So like, thanks Optimus, for highlighting my moobs.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Also, as slightly illustrated in the opening pictures, you could cut open the box and turn it into a little stand for the Endo-Skull. Wow!

Much cooler than I expected.

Next month’s theme is HEROES 2. The sequel to last year’s HEROES crate! See you then.

Keith does all sorts of things here on 9to5.cc, he works with the other founders on 9to5 (illustrated), co-hosts our two podcasts: The 9to5 Entertainment System and Go Plug Yourself and blogs here as The Perspicacious Geek.