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So I just got back from a 3600 km road trip on Sunday, I had no idea what I was going to write about or when I was going to find the time to write it.

But lo! A Loot Crate awaited me upon my return!

June’s theme was DYSTOPIA. Which, I’m not ashamed to admit is probably one of my favorite genres. With RoboCop, The Matrix, Terminator, Fallout and Bioshock all on display in this Crate I’m a pretty happy camper.

As always, let’s start things off with the mandatory “why isn’t this in here” gripe. Where’s Mad Max? I know that it wasn’t an advertised franchise, so I wasn’t actually expecting any Mad Max Loot but come on man, a little die-cast model car of the V8 Interceptor would have been so bad ass.

Now, I also had the thought “Is Mad Max really dystopian?” and I had to look it up:

dys·to·pi·a/disˈtōpēə/
noun
an imagined place or state in which everything is unpleasant or bad, typically a totalitarian or environmentally degraded one.

Close enough! Where’s my little toy car?

All kidding aside, let’s have a looksie at what we’ve got in the box this month.

Terminator Collector Metal Plate Thing

What the hell is this? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed tapping the Terminator theme music on this metal plate thing as much as the next guy, but seriously, what the hell is this? It really feels like it’s a part of a DVD or Blu-Ray packaging. I’ve seen die-cast artwork and stuff for sale on the internet so I feel like this is trying to capitalize on that fad, but how is this even supposed to end up on display? It’s got no support to stand up on its own, and no holes anything to conceivably hang it on to mount it on a wall. I like Terminator, and it’s cool that this is metal, but seriously, this is about as useful as an oven mitt that can’t get hot.
Happiness: ♥ ♥

Bioshock Infinite Blank Key

This is a cool item. Just in general, I like the idea of a blank key as a piece of Loot. It’s something you can take to the keymaker and make super useful and get every day use out of it. The fact that it’s from Bioshock Infinite (which I loved) and features a cool vintage loop and imagery of a the birdcage and Songbird is also a huge bonus. We’re thinking of moving in the next year or so but boy, when that happens, this is going to become my housekey 100%.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Matrix Puzzle

Remember how cool The Matrix was when it came out? I’m not sure if it was the fact that the sequels were kinda meh or that it was parodied to death or that every single action flick for the next decade aped the bullet-time effect but The Matrix has not aged with the dignity it really deserves. The first movie is still outstanding. A perfect blend of cyberpunk and kung-fu with a smattering of philosophy to make you feel all smart while watching it. This puzzle looks pretty tough, being a monochrome, mostly black image but hey, it’s from The Matrix and it’s here to remind us that hey, that movie is pretty cool.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥

Loot DYSTOPIA Pin

These pins continue to deliver. The bomb that ends life as we know it in an adorable and good looking pin! What more could you ask for? Another swanky look pin from Loot Labs. The unlock this month is some generic Fallout Shelter wallpapers for your phone or tablet and some fun little tones from the game. Not the best unlock, but not exactly anything to get too excited for either. This pin with a good bonus Loot would’ve been 5 hearts. Instead? Only 4!
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

RoboCop T-Shirt

RoboCop is a very special movie. I remember seeing it when I was probably WAY too young and it really sticking with me. I don’t think my parents really thought that a movie about a robot policeman was going to be incredibly violent. I imagine my mom wasn’t home and that I was watching it with my dad, since there’s no way she would’ve let the whole thing play out. I re-watched it for the first time in a while last year and it holds up pretty well. Thank goodness that this isn’t a t-shirt of the reboot or I would have been SUPER bummed.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Fallout Guy Dorbz Figurine Thing

Ahh, that classic Fallout Power Armour guy thing from the cover of the Fallout games! I haven’t seen a Dorbz figurine before but they’re pretty cool. Kind of like a Weeble? It’ll wobble, but it won’t fall down! Just kidding, this figurine can totally fall down. I’ve always had a soft spot for Weebles man. I’m glad they’ve evolved like a Pokemon into something that I can enjoy now that I’m in my 30s. Oh, and it’s cool that it’s a Fallout thing. It’s a-dorbz-able. Eh? Eh? Get it?
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

So that’s it.

As with previous months, my overall enjoyment heavily hinged on the fact that I was a fan of just about every franchise represented here. Sure, a lot of these items would easly drop down to 2s and 3s instead of 3s and 4s if I didn’t like the franchise but hey, this is about me. My only beef is that Fallout just had it’s own dedicated crate recently (last year is still recently) and we’ve also had some Fallout swag last November which doesn’t seem like very long ago.

Anyhow, next month’s theme is “FUTURISTIC” which I guess is what happens when we don’t mess things up and send the world into a dark dystopia?

See you next month.

Keith does all sorts of things here on 9to5.cc, he works with the other founders on 9to5 (illustrated), co-hosts our two podcasts: The 9to5 Entertainment System and Go Plug Yourself and blogs here as The Perspicacious Geek.