I’m still at the cover! I haven’t even started  reading this, my life is a lie.

Or maybe I’m incredibly good at it? So first of all, if I’ve got some free time I should probably do something for the website. I am still working on getting the last 5-6 “Fear and Loathing After the Bomb” entries done for the first story arch (I’m not releasing any until they’re all done so at least the conclusion will have some momentum). In addition to that  I usually have a weekly blog that needs writing (the one that you’re reading) and often a podcast that needs editing. To say nothing of managing the Twitter account and the Instagram. Working on the site is rewarding and brings me some degree of joy just doing it and an even greater sense of joy if people actually read or listen to the stuff I spend so much time a week working on. However, even though it’s something I want to be doing and something that I enjoy doing, it doesn’t mean that I don’t spend hours of my week wasting time doing other stuff.

In fact, I do so many things to waste my time that this article grew to be 3 parts long. I waste so much time that I can fill 3 full articles of how I waste time. At least I’m finding some way to feel at least a little productive about all this bullshit.

Like nearly everybody else, I procrastinate and put off working on the website in favour of other things that are more immediately gratifying and distracting like reading, watching something or playing video games. The major problem here is that I will spend time doing versions of those things that are even less gratifying than other “better” versions. What the hell am I talking about?

Let me lay it out.

“Oh, I should probably write this blog entry, but I would rather read _______ instead.”

What could fill that blank?

1) Trigger Warnings by Neil Gaiman. I picked this book up shortly after it came out. I’m a Gaiman fan, it’s a collection of short stories and even features stories set in the worlds of American Gods, Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Who. I should be all up in this book. I like the authour, I like reading, I already like some of the subject matter.  If you’re any kind of a fan of Neil Gaiman surely you are interested in finding out what kind of a story he would write about Sherlock Holmes. What’s not to like? I will be able to feel all smug and sophisticated when I talk to my friends. I will be all like “Oh yes when I was reading ha ha ha, oh yes, I read, quite a lot my dear, books books books.” It’s also a digital copy on my Kindle so I have literally no excuse not to have this book with me everywhere I go.  Of course, I don’t read a book do I? Other than reading a good chunk of it while getting tattooed and the odd page here and there that I read on the bus or before bed I am barely reading this book. No, I might instead end up…

2) Some comic books. Namely The Walking Dead and Fatale, although with Fables wrapping up I might get around to finishing off the run. Comics are a great “light” version of reading. When your brain isn’t fully committed to staring at black and white text, why not spice it up by reading black and white text surrounded by pretty pictures? Yeah, that will feel productive! I will be introducing creative ideas and art into my brain and will totally end up an enriched human being because of it. Comics are awesome! Naturally I will pick up my tablet to read a comic and end up…

If you look carefully you can see that I'm on Twitter AS I WRITE THIS ARTICLE

If you look carefully you can see that I’m on Twitter AS I WRITE THIS ARTICLE

3) Browsing reddit. Wow, good job Keith. Not only are you not working on anything for the website, you’re now reading reddit instead of a book or comic from one of your favorite creators. As much as I (and most of us) love reddit, you can’t really deny that a lot of the time you’re not exactly getting the most high quality stimulation while you’re there. We can all pretend that we read insightful AMAs with interesting people, or get interesting information from /r/askscience but we all need to admit that we also waste time with /r/reactiongifs /r/wtf and sometimes we get very badly lost and end up in You might think that I’m at the bottom of the reading barrel, right? You would be wrong..

4) Goddamned Twitter. Twitter is basically just people yelling “look at me!” at one another while throwing hashtags left and right so that more people will ultimately look at them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as guilty of the completely self-serving attention whoring tweets as the next guy, I won’t judge.  Sometimes you will actually come across some interesting news or a blog that otherwise might not have seen but let’s be real, how enriching can 140 characters really be? It’s especially humiliating when I read tweets from Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself if for some reason you’re not yet following him) and I feel guilty that here I am on Twitter instead of reading his delightful collection of short stories. It’s like he knows.

So yeah, even though I should probably be writing myself, or doing something else for this website I’m reading. I’m not even doing reading that I can feel proud of.

Ok, so maybe reading isn’t the best way to kill time. Maybe I’ll play a video game?

Keith does all sorts of things here on, he works with the other founders on 9to5 (illustrated), co-hosts our two podcasts: The 9to5 Entertainment System and Go Plug Yourself and blogs here as The Perspicacious Geek.