Oh, would you look at that? It’s May and I just managed to receive my April Loot Crate over the weekend. Hurray! I can’t really pin this on the Loot Crate folks though since judging by the look of this box the blame likes squarely on the postal service. Box is smashed, ripped and covered in tape. I had kept myself spoiler free this month so had no idea if there was anything fragile in there or not (thankfully there wasn’t any damaged items), but my heart was a little low when I picked this up. Hopefully, what was inside would cheer me up.Loot Opener

I was pretty disappointed with last months’ Loot Crate (COVERT for those keeping score at home) so I was hoping for something cool this month. I’m not sure how many months they would have to disappoint me for before I cancelled the service, but I think two bad crates in a row would be a start. This month’s theme was FANTASY so I figured they were back in my wheelhouse. I was figuring D&D, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, all good stuff.

Overall, this box did not disappoint. Loot Crate, you’ve got me again! I will admit that if I wasn’t into Fantasy stuff I would likely be bummed out, it’s a little bold to do back to back months with very focused themes (like, imagine you’re into super hero stuff and you get spy stuff one month then fantasy stuff the next). However, as I said, this stuff is all up my alley so I enjoyed it tremendously.

Let’s take a look at what we’ve got shall we?Loot Crown

Inflatable Crown

I had no idea what this was when I pulled it out of the box (as pictured, it’s not incredibly obvious). I was excited though. It was gold. Then I saw the little inflatable thing and I was like “ooh” then I realized it was a crown and I was like “I AM KING KEITH FIRST OF MY NAME.” Then I had to take a few seconds to inflate it and then I was a little out of breath and I was like “I.. AM KING… KEITH… fuck it.” So then Sarah became Queen Sarah. This is the exact kind of throw-in I appreciate. Actually fun to have kicking around the house and someone will definitely wear it when they’re drunk.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥LootShirt

Dungeons & Dragons T-Shirt

I have a confession you guys. I didn’t immediately recognize this as the new D&D logo. To my slight credit I have yet to play 5th Edition (and 4th Ed has a different dragon amprisand) but still I thought this was a cool dragon thing and did not immediately put it together as D&D merch. I’ve often said that my favorite geek merch is “stealth” geek merch that is not immediately recognizable as something geeky, so the fact that I didn’t put this together right away is a pretty big selling point for the shirt itself. Also, it is not black or white, so bonus points on variety. I’m gonna wear this to my D&D game and assume that it grants a +1 Power Bonus to EVERYTHING.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥Loot Bag and Magnets

Harry Potter Bag Tag

I had honestly forgotten that Harry Potter was Fantasy until I pulled out this item. I was like “Oh yeah, Harry Potter.” I have never really been the biggest Potter fan but also wouldn’t consider myself as a non-fan either (I’ve read them all, but borrowed them and I’ve seen I think 3 of the 8 movies). I think this one is destined as being a present for someone though. Throwing a Platform 9 3/4 bag tag on your travel gear is making a pretty loud statement about how much of a Harry Potter fan you are. I’m sure I know someone who will appreciate this more than I do. Still, a cool little filler item with some actual usefulness.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥

Game of Thrones Magnets

My fridge is covered in stuff. Post cards, wedding cards, old photos, coupons. Obviously there’s magnets holding all that stuff up (including some badass 8-bit Mario magnets Sophie made me a while back). Why not add 4 of the major Houses to my fridge? However, one of the ways I justify having a Loot Crate subscription is that I will be giving some of this stuff away at Keithmas to save on my holiday gift-giving budget. Fridge magnets are a pretty sweet throw in to any gift since just about everyone loves GoT. As much as my fridge could use a little of the 7 Kingdoms, I think these are destined to make someone else happy.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥Loot USB

House Stark USB Key

Ok, it’s only 4 gigs. Sure, it probably will stab you uncomfortably in the leg if you carry it around in your pocket. Fine, it’s bigger physically than almost any other USB key that I’ve seen but COME ON, look at this thing! The knick-knack collector in me says to keep it, but it doesn’t make any sense (one of my old jobs gave me a stack of 16 GB keys so this is really pretty pointless to hang on to). I am still pretty undecided on the fate of this thing. It’s super cool. Maybe I’m just super jacked on GoT because the show is on right now? That must be it.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥Loot Bowtie

RPG Bow Tie

According to the tag this is another item from Black Tie G eek but the little magazine says Spotted & Tied (which seems to be a much swankier affair. I am confused, but delighted!). I think this might be my favorite pull from the entire box. I’ve got a couple of bow ties in the real world, but none of them are red. I think there’s something to be said for owning a red bow tie. Also, as I mentioned up there with the shirt, I like my geeky stuff on the subtle side and unless you get right up close you wouldn’t really know that there’s dragons and d20s in the pattern here. Very cool. Another winner. I am totally going to wear this if I ever get around to DMing again.
Happiness: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥Loot cards

Princess Bride Playing Cards

Everyone can use more playing cards! Well, that’s maybe not true. Playing cards are so frequently used as promotional items that we probably have like 10 decks kicking around the house. Sin City, Star Wars, Batman (twice), and now Princess Bride! That being said, this a nice little deck of cards from an intellectual property that I was pleasantly surprised to see represented in this Crate. The art is pretty slick and sooner or later somebody will end up playing cards with them.
Happiness: ♥ ♥

So yeah, this month definetly got me back on board after a disappointing March crate. Next month’s (or rather, this month, since we’re May) theme is UNITE. Considering all the buzz about team ups and stuff I would go out a limb and say Avengers and Suicide Squad might fit the bill. I’m hoping they dig deep and pull out something Captain Planet related. I mean, if Princess Bride can be in this month’s, why not Captain Planet?

Keith does all sorts of things here on 9to5.cc, he works with the other founders on 9to5 (illustrated), co-hosts our two podcasts: The 9to5 Entertainment System and Go Plug Yourself and blogs here as The Perspicacious Geek.

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