It’s fair to say that there are tons of sequels out there that never should’ve been made. These are cash-grabby pieces of garbage that should’ve died young, before becoming full-scale productions. I’m talking about movies like A Good Day to Die Hard, or that shitty Wolverine movie, or Horrible Bosses 2 (which I haven’t seen, but I hear was a big heap o’ awful). But on the other side of things, there are some sequels out there that I wish had seen the light of day.

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Exhibit A: Buckaroo Banzai Against The World Crime League

I finally got around to watching The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension this weekend, and it did not disappoint. Sure, John Lithgow’s accent is fucking hilarious, and it’s impossible to keep a straight face while staring at Jeff Goldblum’s cowboy getup, but the movie as a whole is a pretty amazing feature film. It’s got all the charm that you could ever want from an 80s sci-fi flick, with its questionable soundtrack, wickedly dated special effects, and super-recognizable cast. You can’t go two scenes without recognizing someone who went on to do tons of other good work. The story itself is pretty out-there, but I had no trouble easing into the crazy universe they’ve put together, and when it was over, I wanted more. And they teased a sequel in the end credits (pictured above). But alas, 31 years later, still no sequel. The film was a box office flop, and its cult status has yet to generate enough push for a sequel to actually come to fruition. I’m still keeping my fingers crossed.

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Exhibit B: Doctor Detroit II: The Wrath of Mom

You’d probably heard of Buckaroo Banzai before, but there’s a fair chance that Doctor Detroit hasn’t ever crossed your path. Released in 1983, this Dan Aykroyd-starring blunder of a film only generated mild box office success, and now rests in the annals of Netflix for your viewing pleasure. If you dare to watch it, you’ll see Aykroyd get tricked into portraying an exuberant criminal & eccentric businessman by a pimp whose greatest enemy is named Mom, hence the title of the proposed sequel. It sounds like a terrible flick, but the Devo-filled soundtrack makes this one pretty fun to watch, and with Aykroyd himself writing the sequel, it could’ve turned into a memorable franchise. Just like BB, DD also announced their planned sequel in the closing credits of the film, hedging their bets on a massive success. Folks in the 80s sure were optimistic.

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Exhibit C: Beware! Killer Klowns From Outer Space

KKFOS easily ranks in my top 5 favourite films of all-time. It’s a perfect rip-off/tribute of/to The Blob, released in the same year as the remake of The Blob (which barely changed at all from the original) but done with so much more cleverness and fun. Clowns from space land in a town and use such weapons as popcorn and cotton candy to terrorize a small town. It’s brilliant, hilarious, perfectly paced, and fun to re-watch. The only problem? The Blob teased a sequel in its closing shot, and then produced said sequel, 16 years later. As for KK, well, a sequel had been discussed by the original creators of the film, and the project exists on IMDB, but I have little hope of seeing ti actually come to be, 28 years after its original release.

…but that would be pretty awesome.

-Al

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