It’s Canada Day and I’m stuck at work, if there was ever a time where it was good to publish a column called “Fuck Mondays” it is today.
This isn’t really an article, it’s just a picture of the fact that our National (winter) sport of hockey has been on our money in one way or another no less than 5 times. I’m pretty sure that it’s been on our currency even more than that, but this is what I was able to find.
Other countries like to celebrate their independence or their national monuments or whatever, us? We celebrate the fact that hockey is fucking amazing every chance we get. It’s our sport and we’re fucking amazing at it. “But Keith,” you might say, “a Canadian team hasn’t won the Stanley Cup in like 20 years.” True enough, but how about this: 30 of 57 players who could play in the Stanley Cup Finals this year were Canadian. Or how about the fact that out of the 22 times men’s hockey has been an Olympic Sport we’ve won gold 8 times, silver 4 times and bronze twice? Or of the four times women’s hockey has been an Olympic sport we’ve won gold 3 times?
If wars were fought with hockey we’d rule the world.
Oh, and if you’re one of those losers who’s like “Hey, hockey isn’t our national sport, lacrosse is.” Then I say: you’re an idiot. We have two national sports. One for winter, one for summer. The queen said so.
For the record, our performance in Lacrosse isn’t nearly as impressive. America routinely beats us at the World Lacrosse Championships. That’s why it’s not on our money as often.
